The Hiring Process - A Story

Cafe Grit

Jun 25

Today I want to start at the very beginning of the career journey.

🕰 Let’s get into Mr. Peabody’s Wayback Machine and travel back to before you even had Day 1 in your corporate job.

Remember Mr. Peabody and Sherman? Good times. Good memories.

❌ What is NOT a good time or a good memory is looking for a job. Right now, a lot of you dealing with this because of the Covid-19 mess. Even if you aren’t currently searching, no doubt you’ve already experienced some of the bullshit related to the application and interview process.

At one of my previous jobs, I was in an almost continual hiring position. Over the course of about five years, I brought on a half-dozen employees, and somewhere in the realm of 15-20 contractors for project work. 👩🏻👨🏽👨🏾‍🦱🧑🏼‍🦱👩🏻‍🦰👱🏻‍♀️👩🏼‍🦳🧔🏻👨🏽‍🦲

☝🏽 Just to be clear, I was NOT HR. I was a manager, the person to whom the employees and contractors would actually report. But I did a lot of the work, like writing up the position, phone screenings, interviews, and onboarding.

💩 A lot of crap can take place even before the job is posted to the world. While that isn’t the focus of this article, I do have some stories about this. Click here for one of my favorites.

Now I’m going to tell you a little story about a friend of mine.

She was hired into a company late last year and I think her experience is pretty typical in the professional world, at least in the US. Although this might not be your exact experience, it is common and I think you’ll probably recognize some similarities to your own job searches.

My friend is in technology and for the sake of anonymity, I’m going to call her Ruby Scooby. My article, my name. 😎

💻 Ruby applied for a position at Company A through a LinkedIn job posting.

Easy peasy.

📆 Ruby heard nothing from Company A for an entire week. 🤨

She did get a message on LinkedIn saying that her application had been sent, but she had no idea if it reached its destination or if it was sitting out there in oblivion, having a cup of coffee on a server somewhere or having died a slow death in the bowels of the internet. 💀

📞 Finally, one week after Ruby applied, the HR rep from Company A contacted her to set up a quick phone call.

This is what I knew in my world as a “phone screening. It’s a chit chat to cover some of the basics of the position, to make sure the person is still interested, that kind of thing.

🧔🏽👩🏼‍🦳👨🏻‍🦰👩🏻‍🦱 Ruby had the call with the HR rep a few days later.

At the end of the call, the rep told Ruby that someone would be in touch within a few days on the next steps.

🗓 It was nearly a week before Ruby was contacted again. 🙄

🤗 But, WOO HOO! Ruby met the qualifications, her resumé looked good, so she moved onto the formal interview stage.

👸🏽 The formal, on-site interview took place the following week.

Several people were in attendance at this interview:

👩🏻 The hiring manager (the person who would be Ruby’s boss)

👨🏻‍🦱 The division manager (who was the hiring manager’s boss)

🧔🏾 An HR rep (to make sure the hiring manager and division manager didn’t fuck it up)

I say that somewhat jokingly but also not. When I was in a hiring manager role, I never had an HR representative at the interviews. But I know many do and there might be a good reason for that.

I remember hearing a story about an interviewer who made little notes in the margin of the resumés to remember which candidate was which. A guy with a mustache might get “mustache” written in the margin, for example. 👨🏻

💍 There was a woman who wore some distinct, memorable jewelry, so he abbreviated “jew” in the margin. The woman saw his note, did not get the job, made some assumptions, and it did not go down well.

So I guess there is a reason for HR to be in the room sometimes. 😜

🕰 Ruby’s interview lasted a couple of hours and according to her, it was mostly “cliché” interview questions.

You know: What is your greatest strength? What is your biggest weakness? Where to you see yourself in five years? Why should we hire you? The kind you might find if you Googled “Most Popular Interview Questions.”

For my last job search adventure, I did actually Google “Most Popular Interview Questions.” Only one question in the entire interview was not on my list.

You’re welcome.

🏅 Ruby aced the interview.

Because she is a rock star.

🗓📞 Almost a week later, the hiring manager called and asked Ruby to come in for yet another interview. 😳

Apparently, the department director and one of the associate vice presidents needed to have a go at it. Okay then.

🗓 The following week Ruby went to her 2nd onsite interview.

It was very similar to the first one.

She even got asked some of the same cliché questions by the director and VP. No surprise though, the director and the VP were impressed.

🎬 At the end of the second interview, Ruby was told that Company A would have a decision by the end of the following week.

They probably needed to wrap up the interviews and make a decision. That’s fair. No shame in that game, that’s how it goes.

🤗 Ruby was elated.

👍🏽 She really wanted this job. In spite of the process taking a fucking lifetime, she knew she was one of the top candidates, maybe even #1. She liked the hiring manager a lot, and the culture seemed like a great fit.

Ruby also knows some folks at the company and they all said good things about working there. One of them even put in some good feedback about her to the hiring manager. 🗣

And Ruby really wanted to get out of her current job. It wasn’t very challenging, and she wanted something better…bigger projects and more fulfilling work and a more positive culture. She was certain Company A would give her that. 👊🏽

☝🏽However…

🐐 This was not Ruby’s first goat rodeo. She’s got almost 20 years of experience under her belt and she’s not stupid. While Company A was working through its analysis paralysis and bureaucracy, Ruby continued to submit applications and go on interviews with other companies. 😎

⌛️ Three weeks later, Ruby accepted a position…with another company.

❌ Ruby never heard back from anyone at Company A.

Never. Not "yes." Not "no." Not “Thank you for your time.”

She did hear from one of her Company A friends that they had to pull the position due to funding cuts, but they would likely be reposting in the next quarter. 💰

😟 Too bad. Ruby might have waited if she had known. The job at Company A was her preferred position but she got another good offer and didn’t want to let it go.

When we look at it from start to finish, it was over 2 months - 9 weeks - from when she first applied to Company A and when she accepted the other offer. ⌛️

📰 Newsflash for folks who haven’t done this in a while: This isn’t at all unusual and it isn’t even close to a worst-case scenario. Three months, four months…not uncommon.

Let’s stop here for now and ponder this for a while.

⭐️ In the next Café Grit blog, I’ll dive into why the process is so cumbersome, so nonsensical, and why it takes so long. I don’t know that I will have many answers on how to actually fix it, but we do need to call it out. Because it’s bullshit.

For now, I want you to think about this a bit. And I want to hear from you—your stories about the job application and interview process.

❓ Have you ever done multiple in-person/on-site interviews with a company? How many interviews for a single company?

❓ Have you gone through what feels like the full interview process only to hear absolutely nothing back from the company? Ever.

❓ For those of you who have recently done a job search and been hired, how long did it take from application to offer letter?

❓ Does anyone in HR have any insight or worst-case horror stories? Different perspectives welcome and encouraged!

⭐️ Let me know in the comments! Let’s call this crap out!

All right Grit Brigade, don’t forget to follow #cafegrit here on LinkedIn and check out the corresponding Café Grit Podcast for more real conversations about corporate life, careers, the quest for fulfillment, and finding your voice. Please leave a review on your platform of choice if you think it doesn’t suck!

You can also find more information and more discussion in our private Facebook Group Café Grit. I’d love to hear your comments, questions, suggestions for future topics, or corrections (except for the Grammar police…you all can just keep your damn mouths shut, no one wants to hear from you).

🥓 And check out Where The Hell Is My Bacon: How An Innocent Pork Product Conquered Employee Engagement And Change Management At A Large Midwestern Corporation for the true story of how one stressed-out IT department found their voice through bacon.

That’s all for now, we’ll talk to you soon…and remember: You don’t have to deal with the bullshit, and there IS something better out there. Let’s figure it out together. ☕️👊🏾

Take it easy…