What I Used To Hate

🥥 This morning I poured some whole coconut milk into my coffee. I think I actually heard the creaking of the coffin as my mother turned over in her grave.

Filed under the category of “things I used to hate but now love” would be coconut. Those little flakes of white pulp were deceptively appealing in my youth. I wanted to love coconut, but I just hated the taste and texture. It was my pre-teen Kryptonite.

I was not Kookoo for Kokonuts…

One Saturday in April when I was around eight or nine, I went to my cousin Lori’s birthday party. A dozen little girls gathered out on Hague Avenue in Jackson, Michigan where there was no shortage of games, playtime, presents, and treats. It was endless fun, but the most glorious moment was when Lori’s mother Roxanne—my godmother and my mom’s bestie—brought out a most epic triple-layer cake with the fluffiest, most snow-whitiest frosting swirled perfectly all around the sides and top. 🎂

My heart may have literally stopped for a moment. I have no shame in admitting that one of the main reasons I enjoy any birthday party for is the cake. And this one was stunning, even more perfect than the ones on the front of the cake mix boxes. My mouth started to water as she brought her masterpiece out and I imagined putting a slice of that dreamy, creamy cloud-like heaven into my mouth. 🤤

And then, as Roxanne placed this edible work of art on the table in front of us, my stomach dropped. The entire thing, from top to bottom, was covered in raw coconut flakes. I detested coconut. This was worse than finding walnuts in a chocolate chip cookie or anchovies on an otherwise perfect pizza. At least I could pick those out. There was no way to avoid the hundreds, maybe thousands of coconut flakes marring the pristine exterior of the cake.

Today I would eat this. “This” being, the entire cake.

I gave a pitiful look to my mother, who was standing next to Roxanne about to sing “Happy Birthday.” She was well aware of my coconut aversion and only glared at me, her eyes forbidding me to show even the slightest hint of disgust. I was crushed…defeated. The disappointment was right up there with the breakup of my most favorite band ever—The Police—or when I found out bacon bits had been removed from the salad bar at my workplace cafeteria.

Flash forward several decades, and I am putting coconut milk in my coffee every day. I put it in my smoothies. I want to marry Piña Coladas. 🍹 I willingly and excitedly order coconut shrimp or chicken. I practically squeal with delight when I find coconut inside of a homemade cookie.

And I have no idea when my palate changed or why.

⛳️ Conversely, I know exactly when I changed my mind about golf, the sport my husband Sean calls “the worst damn fun you’ll ever have.” It was summer of 2003 and Sean had pulled me—his reluctant then-girlfriend—out to the Ella Sharp Park Golf Course for my first round of golf ever.

It was, as they say, a game changer.

With startling accuracy, this random free online photo shows precisely where my golf ball usually lands.

As a corporate IT professional, golfing should have been in my blood. In the business world, golf is as second nature as brushing your teeth or wiping your muddy feet before you come into the house on a rainy day.

At the utility where I worked, everybody and their brother (and sister, cousin, grandparents, best friend, butcher, hairdresser, and neighbor) played golf. There was a golf course practically on every corner in the county.  Many of my coworkers were on golf leagues and I was asked on a number of occasions if I’d like to join.

Um…no thank you. Golf was icky.

I didn’t at all understand people who played golf. It looked positively dreadful. People who watched golf on TV were in need of psychological intervention. BO-RING! There was absolutely nothing—nada, zero, zilch—that appealed to me about the game. It looked monotonous as hell and about as fun as watching the grass on the fairway grow. And really? Plaid pants?

Then I met the man who would become my husband. Sean played golf fairly often, and somehow convinced me to go out on the course with him. I was young(ish), in love, and I liked hanging out with him, so I agreed. Reluctantly. I figured this would be one and done. Let’s just get it over with and I can get on with activities I can actually tolerate.

On our second golf outing, Sean got mad and threw his golf club into a pond. I had sandals on so I went in and got it for him. Never again.

🏌🏻‍♀️ Worst damn fun you’ll ever have is right. I was hooked (no pun intended). That was seventeen years ago. Although we’ve had some dry spells that lasted years (we’ve moved a lot), we are back in the swing of things (pun intended). I am on my third set of clubs and recently started buying—I almost can’t even believe I am actually saying this—golf apparel. I have the whole ensemble now: white skort, golf shirt, golf shoes, and a Callaway visor.  A few years ago, I took lessons from a member of the LPGA. I don’t play often enough to be great, but I’m not half bad! 🏌🏻‍♀️🏌🏻‍♀️🏌🏻‍♀️

My how the worm has turned. All of those coworkers who tried to convince me that golf was nirvana had failed. But for my new boyfriend, I gave it a whirl. Having the right person to draw me into an otherwise detestable activity was key.

The same stars must have been aligned over a decade later, when again I had the right person pull me into an activity in which I had zero interest. In this case, it was positive thinking and using the Law of Attraction (aka The Secret) to manifest my dreams.

🧲 Several years ago, my good friend Kori Jo invited me to a vision board workshop organized by one of her coworkers. I wasn’t really sure what a vision board would do for me or how it related to the Law of Attraction. In fact, I didn’t even know exactly what the Law of Attraction was. I couldn’t help but be aware of the best-selling book about the topic—The Secret—because it was in every bookstore and on every book display ad nauseum. My only thoughts about it at the time were that it was probably bullshit and certainly very annoying. Frankly speaking, I was tired of seeing it everywhere.

But Kori Jo is a lot of fun 😂 and I like hanging out with her, so I signed up for the vision board workshop. Just as with my husband and golf, there aren’t many people for whom I would have driven over an hour on a cold, drizzly Saturday morning in February to attend an event that wasn’t even in the realm of my interests at the time. Kori Jo is one of those few, so I made the trek to a hotel conference room near Detroit and we got our vision boards on.

We spent several hours listening to the amazing speaker Amelia “Mimi” Brown while we worked on our boards. Mimi gave me a big “Aha!” moment when she talked about how reframing our thoughts from a negative to a positive would change our lives. Instead of complaining about a crappy job, for example, Mimi explained we should focus our energy on a job we wanted. Our vision boards could help us focus on our ideal career. By complaining and dwelling on the bad stuff, we would just attract more bad stuff.

💡 And I couldn’t deny it was true. I had become a very bitter person over the previous few years in my work environment. A dark time a few years earlier had sparked a mindset where I only focused on what was NOT going well. I fed off that negative energy, and guess what? Nothing got better. I just kept attracting the negativity. But it was hard to stop.

By using the vision board, Mimi’s advice, and some additional research and learnings that took place after the workshop, I learned how to reframe my thoughts and actions toward bringing more positive things into my life.

This is my Mojo Vision Board - This is so I can visualize being the funny, dorky, goofball that I was in my younger days.

Several years later, I have multiple copies of The Secret, I have manifested several key dreams (moving to Virginia and publishing a book), and Kori Jo and I now host a podcast called change the channel-be the magnet, in which we talk about the Law of Attraction, how it works for us, and how it can work for others.

Not only do I no longer hate those annoying The Secret books, but I now shout it from the rooftops. 🗣 I have even handed out a few copies to friends and family.

Coconut, golf, the Law of Attraction. I used to hate them, now I love them. The idea that we, as humans, can change our perspective, our likes, our tastes, and our perspectives 180 degrees is fascinating, don’t you think?

🥥⛳️🧲 So what do you love that you once hated?